Making Mistakes Is Part of Being Human
Giving each other and ourselves the space to make mistakes
Something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, is the lack of tolerance around making mistakes. Other people not allowing us to make mistakes, allowing ourselves, and even allowing other people to make mistakes without the shaming, judging and attacking.
I shared this thought on social media, and the feedback I got was so incredible. That means that I’m not the only one who feels overwhelmed by the constant effort of trying to be perfect and not make any mistakes.
Here’s the thing…
Making mistakes is how we learn.
Making mistakes is how we grow.
And…
We don’t know what we don’t know until we know it. Which always reminds me of my favourite Maya Angelou quote.
“When we know better, we can do better.”
I’m not saying that we give people permission to constantly make the same mistakes over and over and over again and hurt us. What I’m saying is that not every single mistake that someone makes is out of malice.
When I am not given the room to make mistakes, I end up showing up with my only goal being that I have to be perfect today.
I have to say the perfect thing.
I have the write the perfect thing.
I have to look perfect.
I have to act, react and behave perfectly in every moment.
And I think, “I better be perfect today so that I’m liked, so that I’m accepted, so I’m not attacked, and judged, or shamed.”
What is perfect though? Because you can do it all perfectly, say it all perfectly and someone will still think it is wrong. Which means, there is no such thing as perfect.
If this is resonating with you and you’re nodding your head in agreement, like, “this is so how I feel!” I get it. It is overwhelming on so many levels.
It is mentally overwhelming.
It is emotionally overwhelming.
We, you, me, are going to make mistakes. Not if, when.
If you are showing up for this game of life, you are going to make mistakes, you are going to fail sometimes, and you won’t always hit the mark with every single person.
There is this really great Netflix special with Brene Brown. It is called, A Call To Courage. She says, “if you are showing up in the arena (meaning life), you are going to fail. You are going to make mistakes.”
When you do, you are going to be embarrassed, you are going to be upset, you may even need to cry it out.
Apologize when you need to. Learn what you need to learn so you can grow from it. Accept that it happened, and remember it so you don’t make it again, but you might.
And give yourself and other a ton of grace and compassion because the majority of us are just doing the very best that we can. Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt that their intention was to do the very best they could do, with what knowledge they currently have.
Today’s share is just something to think about.
How can you give yourself the space to make mistakes so that you can show up authentically in this game of life?
How can you give others the space to make mistakes so that they can show up authentically in this game of life?
How can we, collectively, change the toxic narrative around the idea that we are suppose to never make a mistake or fail and be perfect all the time?
Laurie-ann